


No One Compares to you (But There's No You)

by Catalysa



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Angst, Aris and Thomas are sort of friends, Death, Death Cure Spoilers, Depressed Thomas, Depression, Hurt No Comfort, I blame everyone for this, I'm up to no good, Major character death - Freeform, Nightmares, Sad, like major spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-25 15:18:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1653239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catalysa/pseuds/Catalysa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's no such thing as Paradise without Newt. </p><p> </p><p>(The one where Paradise is Paradise until it isn't)</p>
            </blockquote>





	No One Compares to you (But There's No You)

**Author's Note:**

> I totally blame @themazejogger for this. 
> 
> There's no other explanation, Title taken from Lana Del Rey's Dark Paradise, Intro lyrics from the song little lion man. 
> 
> Prepare your tissues. 
> 
> Enjoy.

 

> _Weep for yourself, my man,_  
>  You'll never be what is in your heart  
>  Weep, little lion man,  
>  You're not as brave as you were at the start  
>  Rate yourself and rake yourself  
>  Take all the courage you have left  
>  And waste it on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head 

“ _You get lazy, you get sad. Start givin’ up. Plain and simple.”_

Thomas has all three covered by now, as much as he likes to pretend that he’s alright now, that he doesn't scream himself awake every night, that he doesn't keep dirty not so little secrets hidden in that little hidden box of his. That the panic attacks are temporary and that one day he’ll let someone call him Tommy again.  

He also likes pretending he doesn't see the way Minho looks at him, or the way Brenda hates leaving him alone, making the older runner move to live with him in his humble cabin. He didn't protest though, didn't want to bring more unwanted attention toward him.

And that’s how Minho ends up babysitting him. And apparently that meant having him indulged in things like sleeping arrangements.  Which was a very very bad thing. A horrible thing. Seeing that Thomas has a small tendency to scream\sob\talk\whisper about Newt most ~~all~~ nights. Not to mention that he still keeps that note with him, tucking it under his pillow every night before he slept. Because it was the last thing he held on to.

It was the only thing that’s keeping him from shattering into a million little pieces, dashed and divided like the constellation of stars he looked at every time the loneliness became too much.  

Even though it held one of the most morbid words Thomas has ever come to read. It was still a piece of Newt to selfishly keep for himself. Because the blonde hands has once caressed this paper before he gave it to Thomas.

Because every now and then, it lets Thomas feel like Newt it still with him.

So he clings on to what’s left of the worn paper. He can barely see the words scrabbled across it now. Because of that one time when everything became too much and he ripped it into little shreds.

(Only to spend the next three days putting it back together)

So he holds on to it, he holds on to _Newt_. Back that is what’s really holding him, what’s making him remain in one whole piece. Newt is still his everything _._ He’s what’s keeping Thomas from ending everything right here and right now. What’s keeping him from flinging his boney body out of the near cliff, he’s still the reason he wakes up at morning, why he pushes past the sinking feeling in his stomach as he Smiles at Minho. Because alive or dead, _Newt is still his glue._

But even the strongest of glues starts to fade someday.

 

**-**

 

Thomas knew something was going to happen, he could feel it like in itch in his bones since his eyes flattered open this morning and he didn't find Minho anywhere near him.

That feeling intensified when he didn't find the note under his pillow. 

So he ripped himself away from his bed, storming outside of his room and the cabin, running like a mad man until he found his friend.

Standing in front of a tree, with his arms crossed. 

 

_And the note in his hand._

 

Thomas froze in his place, watching a stoic Minho glare at him.

Finally the older boy moved, walking slowly until he was standing in front of the brunette, he raised his hand, moved it back, and swung it with all his might toward Thomas’s jaw.

The hit was so surprising that the younger boy swayed on his feet, having to force his body to be steady, but his action turning useless as Minho flung his body forward and started hitting him with all his might. The older runner cursing and screaming,

“So that’s why you scream about him every night huh? That’s why you shrink on yourself every time I mention him? What happened him to him Thomas, TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FRIEND?”   

And suddenly, it feels like all the air in Thomas’s air was sucked out, as Minho froze on top of him and tears leaked down his face. He numbly sits up, very aware of his bleeding lip and probably bruised cheek as he looks anywhere but at Minho.

“I killed him”, he says, eyes widening because he nearly can’t tell his own voice, the words coming out in a raw pained whisper. And when he sees the fire burning in Minho's eyes, and that his hands are ready to swing again he speaks quickly, “Listen to me, Minho. _Please._ Let me Explain. Let me get this fucking thing off my diseased brain” he begged. And he knew he won himself a few minutes when the dark haired lad stopped his motion, moving from on top of him to sit.

Thomas moves into a better position, feeling Minho's eyes burn holes in his tinted soul, and suddenly, he can see and feel it over again. 

 

“ _Kill me. If you've ever been my friend, kill me”_

 

_“I hate you, Tommy. I hate you I hate you I hate you”_

 

_“Make amends! Repent for what you did!”_

 

He’s not aware that he’s talking, repeating every single word that was said on the cursed day, not aware of how he’s gasping for breath, how he’s sobbing so hard that he just can’t seem to fucking breathe. He feels Minho's arms around him, he can hear him distantly murmuring to him, talking about ‘forgiveness’ and how ‘Newt never hated him’, but he can’t he can’t he ca- 

 

Suddenly the world goes Dark.   

 

And that’s why Minho never mentions him anymore, making sure everyone does the same, which include warning Brenda not to call him Tommy, ever.

 

-

 

He doesn't work much now days, only helping Aris with his shop whenever the other boy’s own demons were too much to bear, which means about three to four days a week. He’s not complaining though, because even though Minho is his best friend, his _brother,_ but being with Aris helps. The boy’s endless chatter stops him from getting lost in his head. And for that, he is grateful.

Whenever he’s done with Aris, it’s usually night time so he goes for a run, running and running until his legs collapse underneath him. Sometimes Minho joins, but tonight the runner is busy with touching up his cabin, so Thomas heads to an isolated spot he found before -when he felt the need to scream himself mute- and he sits down next to the big tree and stares at the night sky.

He muses about how it looks mysterious and eerie but most of all, calm, and how it looks endless.

And within his mind’s depth, he can hear a familiar chuckle, accompanied with an equally familiar sound, 

 

‘Still wasting your time, I see. Tommy’ 

 

And he jolts, like someone just shocked him with electricity that was over a thousand of watts. He looks around, trying to find the source, but there’s nothing around. 

 

‘Stop fighting, give in. Chuck and I miss you up here, buddy. C’mon’ 

 

He hears the soft plea, feels his body stands up gently, he walks forward, taking small steps as he looked around him, stopping finally when he the tips of his toes touched the end of the cliff that was in front of him. Feeling as if he was under some sort of trance, 

 

‘C’mere. _**I** _ miss you’ 

 

He tries to struggle, tries desperately even, but there’s no use. It’s like his body is being moved against its own will. He feels an anguish filled realization hit him, and he stops fighting, he hears one last whisper, and gives in, 

 

 

 

'Yes. That's it, Tommy. I told you, _WICKED is good_ " 

 

 

-

 

It’s Brenda who finds the body, after two days of not seeing or hearing about Thomas. And she can’t help but scream and scream and scream when she sees the words written in her friend’s blood, While Minho breaks down behind her. 

 

**Trial Four, Stage one**

**Group A, Subject A2:**

**The _real_ betrayer.  **

****

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it, I really wanted to play with the idea that the whole Paradise thing was a lie made up by those horrible people. 
> 
> And that maybe, Newt isn't dead, but he's being controlled now. 
> 
>  
> 
> Please, review and drop some kudos! 
> 
> Tumblr -> mccallgasm


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